Rest In Peace: Beloved Husband, Joe, 1936-2023

Joe, the love of my life, my beloved husband of 36 years, passed away on Tuesday, June 6. He was 86.

The worst day of my life was also the 79th anniversary of D-Day. Joe knew how to pick his moments. The day he lost the tip of his finger in a beach chair accident on Ponquogue Beach in the Hamptons was also the day Princess Diana lost her life in Paris.

I mention this only because when he lost the tip of his finger, and paramedics raced him and the finger tip to the hospital, he later said to me: “I’m happy it was me not you. That was such excruciating pain I’m not sure if you could have stood it.” That’s the kind of husband Joe was. He never thought of himself first. If he could protect me from any hurt or pain, physical or emotional, he always did.

Joe loved life. He lived it to the fullest. He loved to have fun; he had a great sense of humor and loved to tell stories. His generosity and love for me allowed me to live my best life, too. When my new thriller, Fool Her Once, was going through its last-stage edits in the Fall of 2021, I was asked to write my acknowledgments page; also to provide some answers for an Author Q&A. The acknowledgments page was easy. Joe was always the first one mentioned in all my novels. 

In FHO, I wrote : “I am indebted to my husband Joe, my rock, and my #1 fan. He has encouraged and supported me in everything I ever wanted to achieve. I couldn’t wish or hope for —or even dream up— a better partner.” The question that had me stumped momentarily for the Author Q&A was: What is your superpower?

As always when I’m stumped, I went to Joe and asked: What do you think my superpower is?”Joe laughed cheekily: “That would be me. I’m your superpower,” he said. I didn’t even have to think twice about his response. “Of course you are,” I said. “Of course.” And, I felt a little foolish that I‘d even had to ask.

Joe enabled my wildest dreams, and made them come true. He encouraged me to finish my first thriller (Scandal) in 1996. He found me my first agent. My first agent placed Scandal with a publisher almost overnight. With Joe’s marketing help and contacts in publishing, Scandal, as an original paperback, sold more than 70,000 copies. 

Joe never, ever tried to talk me out of anything I wanted to do. Whether it was my attempts to write my first novel –or my ambition to go to law school at the advanced age of 50. He had more confidence in my abilities than I had.

“Every Woman Needs A Joe”

He was the do-er in our marriage: he knew how to fix anything and everything around the house; you’d never find him sitting or lounging around relaxing in the days when he was still fit. He’d always find something to do whether it was fixing a squeaky screen door, or running down to the local hardware store for more bird feed or picking up plants for the backyard which he’d then re-pot, or taking the cars to the car wash on a Saturday morning.

Or he’d drive to our fabulous local fish market to pick up flounder or shrimp or salmon for a home-cooked lunch, or to pick up our takeouts when I was working on the last-minute edits on FHO.

It seemed like he could never do enough for me and our home. One summer, he had boxwoods planted to camouflage the pool heater propane tanks because he knew it bothered me to see them from the kitchen windows. A mutual friend of 20 years said back then: “ Every woman needs a Joe.”

I was lucky enough to be the only woman who had the one and only Joe. He was unique, special. We met at Star Magazine in New York City. He was 50, and the general manager/ circulation director of Star, about to be Vice-President of Murdoch Magazines which launched and acquired some dozen magazines during Joe’s tenure.

I was 37, and the  news editor of the Star. We fell madly in love and got  married in City Hall, NYC in April, 1987. As advanced in age as we both were, Joe said we should have a baby. He said: “I know I’m going to go before you do. I don’t want you to be alone. I want you to have someone who will be there for you when I’m gone.”

Daniel, our son, was with me at Joe’s side when Joe passed away at Peconic Bay Medical Center, on the East End of Long Island on June 6. Together with his partner Adrienne, he has not left my side since then. As Dan said the other day : “I’m finally fulfilling my purpose.”

Travels With Joe

Joe and I travelled a lot in the early days, and then, with Danny when he was old enough. We skied Hunter Mountain, New York, Sunday River in Maine and Copper Mountain in Colorado. We travelled to Aspen. Joe was a reckless, double black diamond skier.

We sailed around the islands of the Caribbean on the Royal Clipper, a five-masted schooner. We loved it so much, we sailed on the Clipper again and again. We sailed on our own boat, the Mirage, named after the hotel/casino where we won the $28,000 (in one night of blackjack) that paid for the boat.  Joe was a self-taught sailor who read one how-to book about sailing before buying a boat and sailing it on weekends on Barnegat Bay.

We traveled to Europe often because of business conventions Joe had to attend. We visited all the fun cities: Monte Carlo, London, St. Tropez, Paris, Madrid, Helsinki and Vancouver. We made so many memories together.

Moving

We seemed always to be on the move. We moved from Brewster, New York where we built our first house, to a Philadelphia town house in Center City to a sprawling mansion in Boca Raton, back to New York ( Long Island) and then eventually to Hampton Bays and West Palm Beach where Joe started spending winters in the sun while I was still working as a law clerk. 

When the judge I worked for lost re-election, Joe suggested I retire and spend winters in the sun with him. He loved lunching at the Breakers Ocean Club in Palm Beach  where we were members. He was also known for making the best Bloody Marys for his buddies at the pool of the condo complex where we lived on the Intracoastal.

He said if I couldn’t enjoy just lounging around, playing tennis, golf, and swimming, then I could write another book. Which I did. It took a lot of time. Longer than I thought it would. But, as always throughout our life together, Joe never complained when I spent time on my writing or any of the activities associated with it.

Always Generous

He was generous —to a fault —with his time, and his money. He enjoyed spending his money on friends and family — especially on his children and grandchildren. He  bought a house in Philadelphia for my mother and stepfather when they moved from the UK so they could be closer to Danny, their only grandson.

He helped strangers who were in need. If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you’ve probably seen this one about his effort to bring supplies to the babies and kids of Homestead after Hurricane Andrew devastated South Florida.

Illustrious Career

In the couple of years since the 2020 pandemic, Joe became frailer and frailer.  COPD was making his life more difficult; he couldn’t move with ease anymore. He had issues with his hearing, and macular degeneration destroyed the eyesight in his left eye. A touch of old age forgetfulness, robbed him of some memory and sometimes everyday vocabulary. 

His storytelling abilities turned to a reliance on memories from decades before : He remembered how he he’d  become an underage lifeguard in Wildwood, New Jersey; how he signed up to serve his country and got stationed with the US Air Force in Limestone, Maine where he remembered the “brutally cold” winters; and how as a college graduate without a job and working as a bartender, he was hired from behind the bar at the Treadway Inn on the Main Line to work as a sales rep for TV Guide. 

It was the start of an illustrious career that set him on a path to the very top of the newspaper and magazine publishing industry.  It took Joe from TV Guide in Radnor, Pennsylvania to Star Magazine in New York where he  became General Manager/Circulation Director, and eventually Vice-President of Murdoch Magazines.

“Icon” & “Legend” in Magazine Publishing

During his time with publisher Murdoch, he was instrumental in helping the company launch and acquire about a dozen magazines with titles like Soap Opera Weekly, Mirabella, Premiere, New Woman, Seventeen and Automobile magazine. The company also acquired TV Guide to which Joe returned in 1989 —with a much loftier title.

When Joe later accepted the position of Chairman at Globe Magazine, we moved to Boca Raton, but subsequently returned to New York where Joe became  Executive Vice President of Magazine Distributors Inc., then, President & CEO of Worldwide Media Service Inc. On retirement, he became a partner/owner in a Tri-State area newspaper and magazine distribution company.

Former colleagues who heard of Joe’s passing last week described him as an “icon” and a “legend” in the magazine publishing industry.

Leaving Me

Joe leaves me, our son, Daniel, and three children from a previous marriage: Sean, Pamela  and Joseph . Also, five grandchildren: Heather, Trevor, Kiel, Shannon and Jack, and one great grandson, Noah.

Joe was laid to rest on Saturday, June 10, in a very simple, private service. A funeral mass was held for him at the church he attended almost daily since his retirement. It’s the one thing he told me he wanted when he was gone.

He also had an honor guard from the U.S. Air Force. I was presented with the flag that was draped over his coffin. Joe would have appreciated that immensely.

The Future 

I’ve missed him every day since his passing.  His was the first, kind, loving face I saw each and every morning, and the last kind, loving face I saw each and every night. It was the face I saw when I rolled over in bed on recent mornings when the light of day started creeping in around 5 a.m.

I will miss him for the love with which he showered me, and expressed to me every day to the end —even when other words and thoughts were failing him. 

He was my husband, my lover, my soulmate, father of our only son, companion on our best adventures, enabler of my wildest dreams — and my very best friend.

I will miss him to the end of my days.

Rest in Peace, Joe, love of my life, October 28, 1936 – June 6, 2023